The simplicity of my life was challenged with the entrance of three boys.
I don't know how having six children ever got so simple, but simple is what we were. Emphasize "were". I always said if we were a reality show we would be boring. The children read too much, sleep too late and obey much too quickly. It would probably be equivalent to watching Santa's reindeer live online. They just don't do much.
Then entered the three boys.
Three boys living with us, the "simpletons". And life was no longer boring. It was fun taking children from a dire situation and giving to them everything. Giving is the fun part. But taking on such a challenge requires more than giving. It requires sacrifice. Sacrifice is giving when it's no longer fun. It's giving when perseverance becomes necessary.
I have learned a thing or two about the reality of our worlds combining. It's tough. It's tough because I don't like bugs. The thought of them keeps me awake at night. And with one visit to their grandfather I was again at the starting gate. Lice shampoo and washing and watching everybody's head like a hawk to make sure no lice lived to repopulate. And then the mysterious rash over my body. And my sons body. The same rash the boys showed up at my house with. Scabies? Maybe. Gross. $150 to treat everyone. And another $150 to treat everyone a week later because that's what you have to do if you have scabies, fyi.
Three boys:
One boy that's two and likes to get into everything. Yes, he got my eyeliner and wrote on my bathroom wall with it. And I was standing right beside him as he did it. He's that sneaky and that quick. Keeps us all on our toes.
One boy who is eight and nearly perfectly behaved and absolutely no trouble. Who deserves so much more attention than he currently gets because our attention is urgently required elsewhere.
And then the ten year old. Who I love so very much but has threatened to kill each member of my family on multiple occasions. So not healthy for little ears to hear.
And there we are, the "simpletons", learning life isn't as simple as we once thought it to be. And most of the time feeling grateful that we have the chance to dim some of the chaos in the lives of others. And at other times thinking our tiny bit of good may not achieve as much as we wanted.
But the greatest lesson I have learned is that what we think in the moment isn't really all too relevant. That time I thought I could do this... that was a fleeting feeling. And that time I wished I never heard of motels kids...well, that feeling didn't last either. My feelings are too fickle to base decisions on.
All I look to now is my daily bread. He, our Father in heaven, knows how to provide for His children. He knows how to renew the weary with strength. He knows how to teach us to hold on, even when He requires us to let go. He knows that it's okay for us to realize that our strength is frighteningly limited because it will help us appreciate that His strength is not.
I have learned that He can bestow upon us peace beyond understanding and that such peace is worth more than all the treasure in the world. And I have been convinced that He is able to reveal His will with the utmost clarity.
And when I don't feel Him. And when my feelings are in array. All I have to do is wait and see what He will speak to me. He will again turn my heart towards the right direction and when He does I will know that peace. The peace of knowing you're on the right road. The peace that allows one to hear the applause of heaven.
