Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing

Isn't it time to get real? Isn't it time to tire of all the games we play in an attempt to impress others? And why do we do this? Is there any power in it? Whatever power or influence we do muster up is only a mirage that vanishes like vapor on a hot day. There are no lasting effects. No eternal fruit. The only thing our efforts provide is the pressure to do it again but next time even better, or bigger or smoother.

We dress to impress and we don't even realize that spiritually we're running around naked. We labor and strive to have so much but we don't realize that we're accumulating nothing. It is like Christ said in Revelations 3:17 (NIV), "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and I don't need a thing'. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." How is it we can settle for so little and not even realize we're taking a loss? I think it is because God's standard drastically differs from the world's. What the world defines as life doesn't hold a match to the One who is Life. We've settled for acting like we have a life as opposed to really living one.

Have you ever had one of those bad dreams where you are in such a hurry to get out the door to get somewhere that you don't even realize until it is too late that you forgot to put your clothes on? You appear in the buff before a roomful of watching eyes and when you awake you thank God a thousand times that it was only a dream. Or was it? Don't we do this very thing to ourselves spiritually before a watching world. We get so busy playing games that we forget how to be real. In our aim for perfection we don't realize that a little bit of good that is authentic is better than a whole bunch of great that is nothing but fake.

This is why God beckons us to have pure hearts. Pure hearts aren't perfect hearts. They are hearts that are honest. Honest with themselves, with God and with others. Pure hearts are ripe for an encounter with God, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matthew 5:8 NIV)

As a Bible teacher in prison ministry the Lord has dealt with me on this area of purity. It can be tempting to go into class as a Bible teacher and try to project the exact image I think a Bible teacher would envelop. God is quick to call me on that type of hypocrisy. At moments when I think it would serve me better to play the image game He is quick to question me, "Do you want to look good or do you want to see my goodness?" In utter amazement I have discovered that God delights in pouring out His power on the ordinary, the weak and the ones who feel pathetically under qualified.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV)

We can spend so much time fighting to look like we belong on top. We want to be best. We want to be first. These are motives that God will never bless. God says in Luke 13:30 that the last shall be first and the first shall be last.

I remember attending a women's conference at Precept Ministries with Kay Arthur. There were about three hundred ladies and she allowed us to have a "slumber party" in her recording studio. We wore our pajamas and everyone brought food for a midnight snack. Eating in the studio was something Kay didn't normally allow so this was a very special treat. Since the equipment in the room was very expensive and the carpet was brand new she emphatically warned us to exercise extreme caution while eating. After she warned everyone she repeated the whole warning again. Let me say we got the point. Spilling something was the last thing anyone in that room planned to do.

I hadn't had a chance to eat dinner so I was starving. The only thing I was thinking of was how I could avoid getting stuck in a long line. I needed to act quickly before the line formed. I decided that as Kay Arthur led us in prayer to bless the food that I could casually make my way towards the snack table to secure my position at the FRONT. It worked. I was actually the first person in line but I carried myself like it was a complete coincidence.

Do you know that as soon as I finished piling my plate with mounds of food I managed to trip and spill it all over Kay Arthur's new carpet. This was done directly in front of all three hundred women and Kay Arthur herself! You could hear everyone gasp for breath. People probably thought most of the salsa landed on my face because it was that red. After I got the mess all cleaned up I realized that if I wanted to eat that I would have to go to the END of the line. God wasn't kidding when He said the first shall be last. As I took my position at the end of the line, pondering this very verse, I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Lord, you don't let me get away with anything!"

So often we put pressure on ourselves to get ahead or to be something we're not because we're petrified of weakness. Yes, we can be frighteningly weak on occasions but that's okay. God is bigger than our weaknesses. His strength is actually perfected in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). We spend ourselves searching for power not realizing that true power only comes when we are willing to humble ourselves before our Maker. God will lift us up. He is the Lifter of our Heads. But He calls us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand so that He can lift us up in due season (1 Peter 5:6).

Isn't it tiring trying to lift up ourselves all the time? Let's give ourselves a break and allow God to do the lifting. He'll be sure to only lift up the real thing.

"Be Still"

I lift up my soul

To the One who sees

He is the One

Who knows the real me

He knows my innermost thoughts

The troubles on my mind

He knows the peace

I am so desperate to find.

He knows how busyness

And smiles cover up the pain

But it is still there

Just the same

So the mask comes off

And falls to the ground

Playing these games

Isn't how true peace is found.

He wants me to be someone

Who is real

He wants to teach me

How to be still.

-Kara Akins

I've Tried Everything!

I just made my sister laugh. We were talking on the phone and she was relating to me the complete fatigue she feels towards dealing with her teenager. She feels she has tried everything but the teen simply isn't responding. She is discouraged and she wants to quit because she doesn't see any results - even after putting in SUCH EFFORTS! I told her (and this is what made her laugh) "You've tried everything. Why not try something that works?" Sounds funny when everything you have tried seems to have failed. Is there anything else to try? She didn't feel there was. But is there? Of course there is. As parents we can come in at a different angle. We can try a variety of angles - it's our God given parental right. We can think and rethink and find the most effective way to reach our kids. We don't have to quit. We can keep trying and we can have fun trying. We're creative. We're motivated. We have every reason to pour our creative resources into our children. We know how to be fun. We know how to build relationships. We're good at it in our social circles. Now let's put our hands, heads and hearts towards our children. What do they want in a mom? What do they need? What inspires them? What reaches them or touches their heart?

Bottom line is when we have teens what we really want is a good relationship with them. We want them to like us. We want them to value us. We want their response to migrate away from robotic obedience to relational obedience - doing things because they are responding to a person and not simply just a rule. We want them to feel that having and maintaining the respect of their parents is of high priority. Our kids need us and we want them to be aware of that need by fostering a relationship that meets tangible needs in THEIR life. They also need to get to know the real us (parents).

Sometimes problems and circumstances that highlight negative attitudes (in both parties) creates an environment of tension and all the joy of relationship is choked out. We seem to somehow slip into a repetitive pattern of relational destruction. Why not create environments that are conducive to relationship growth? Is it possible? Of course. We know under what circumstances our children tend to be more pliable and relational. We also know what circumstances cause them to tighten up more than a clam trying to escape prying fingers. If we can take advantage of moments that actually provide opportunity for us to invest in what is ultimately the foundations of our children's character, then we'll be more productive as parents and they'll be more readily equipped to handle themselves in trying circumstances. We can't build in the middle of a storm. We need to build in good weather so when the storm comes we're prepared for it. So often we try to build in pouring rain (hail, lightning and thunder at that!) and we feel like we're getting nowhere (because we're not). Not only do we feel like we're getting nowhere, we feel like things are getting ruined (because they are).

If what we are doing doesn't work, we shouldn't be afraid to find something that does. If there is an answer to our problem wouldn't it be wise to find it? "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. For anyone who asks receives and anyone who seeks finds and anyone who knocks the door will be opened unto them."

Barns, Nobles and the Akins

The closest we get to going to a barn is to head to our local Barnes and Nobles. The children love to go there to read books (see photos) and I do too. I always get a hot tea and we sit in the children's section and enjoy the comfort of books. I always grab something from the Christian section. This visit I was reading a book by John Bevere. His new book, "Honor's Reward" is really, really good.

Now, as far as parenting goes: There are times (very short moments of time) that I simply feel like a great mom. I actually feel like one of the best in the world. And then there are times I kick myself and laugh at the moments that I have actually allowed myself to even think such a thing because I feel so far from what "one of the best moms in the world" would be. Actually, since I have been to some blogging sites I realize how many great mothers there are in the world. I mean REAL Proverbs 31 women! But back to my world. The bottom line is this: I can't judge myself in the matter. Only God can. He may look at what I view as "so little" and see that I am giving my ALL. He may look at my "plenty" and see that I have so much more to give. We only see in part so we need to trust the One who sees the whole picture from beginning to end. He knows how to lead us, prune us and equip us.

One more thing. One day I was doing my hair. I was thinking about this very subject with the Lord, the subject of being a good mother. I was wondering what kind of "mothering" it would take to be a mother that makes a historical impact. I mean to be such a good mom that it would go down in history! At the very moment of that thought my six year old walked into the bathroom. "Mom, what is the end of the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer song?"
I answered, "You'll go down in history."
"Well" she said "You're such a good mom that you'll go down in history."
Call me crazy but I kind of felt like God was saying something about the little something I was discussing with Him.
Do you know what it takes to be a mom that will greatly impact the world to historical proportion? It isn't perfect parenting. It isn't a large platform while parenting. It is simply The Lord. You're a mother of great, historical importance because He says you are! He set it up that way.

Ladies, history books don't devote large sections of its content to mothering but God's history books do and guess what? We're in them. Every mother out there is going down in history and what you are doing as a momma is of great, historical importance in the sight of God. Our perseverance, our prayers, our patience, our penitence, our passion, our pilgrimage - it is incredible historical account. I was wondering what it would take to make it into the history books as a mother. I didn't realize I was already in them and so are you.

Paris' Poem

Paris wrote this poem for a poetry contest at school. Get a tissue.

"He Is There"
Paris Akins
13 years old

My life has just begun
I’m only in my teens
But I have seen so many things
I could have done without

I saw my dad lose his job
I saw my brother lying in a hospital bed
I saw my dog lying under a bush dead
I saw my sister when her eyes rolled back and she stopped breathing

Many times in my life
I have been where I wished I wasn’t
Probably seen things that I shouldn’t
But I was there all the same

I was there when the moving van came
I was there when my momma cried
I was at the funeral after my great grandmother died
I was there and witnessed it all with my very own eyes

I have experienced
Feelings that can’t be explained
Feelings that sometimes bring joy or pain
I have had an aching heart

We have all seen our worlds fall apart
We have all been through painful trials
We have all had enough worries to stack in piles
We have all felt feelings of betrayal and guilt

But I know where the truth lies
In Jesus Christ who is always there
And to Him we can always share
Our thoughts and our troubles

The End

Madison's Visit to the Hospital

I wanted to post pictures of Madison's visit to the hospital. We had taken her to the ER the night before for chest pain. They actually released her then called us to come back after a doctor looked at her ex-rays and noticed the punctured lung. By the time we got back to the hospital the hole had already closed up. Air had escaped and could be seen around her heart and lung. If the air didn't absorb back into her body on its own then she would have to have surgery. Her body reabsorbed the air so NO SURGERY!!!!

See Rock City

I took the children to Rock City and we had so much fun. I am just now posting the pictures. It was soooo pretty out. I LOVE being a mama and I LOVE taking them places. Is there a better job in the world? There couldn't be. Thank you God for the wonderful blessing you made children to be. Please let your face shine upon us and direct our hearts toward home. Please renew the weak with strength and the grant the ones with fading sight new vision. Rekindle our hearts with the hope you have graciously given all people because you, O Lord, make everything beautiful in its time.

Emma's Birthday

In our family you get to go to the store on your birthday and pick out a toy. We are very simple but they enjoy it sooo much and so do I. When we had less children I would go overboard on birthdays. I remember our first born opening so many presents that she tired in the middle and abandoned every one's gifts as they were watching and waiting for her reaction. I hate to say it but when this same child was a young, young toddler she opened up a gift at Christmas, which was a pooh bear watch, and decided she didn't like pooh bear anymore and tossed it in the garbage - the gift giver was still in the room. That sounds so bad but I guarantee that you would never look at her now and think she would do such a thing. She is Miss Manners. We laugh about it now but at the time I looked like the WORST MOM IN THE WORLD! The gift giver was my best friend so she wasn't too traumatized. Though when my friend began to have children the FIRST thing she taught was the etiquette of gift receiving. I too have learned and taught my other children these things beginning in the womb. It is now safe to buy them presents. They won't be tossed into the garbage!