Running For My Life

When I was born my father was in prison. The state removed my sister and I from the care of our mother. We went from home to home. As a teenager I went to live with an aunt and uncle for a few years. One day they announced that not only were we going to go to church, but that we also had to go to Sunday school. Church is something we didn't normally do. I was clueless about church AND Sunday school... beyond clueless. When we got to the church I was sent to this large room full of teens. I had moved around so much growing up that I felt comfortable just blending in. I didn't approach anyone and no one approached me. Then, out of the blue, the leader told all the kids to go to their classes. Classes???? I had no idea where to go and no one seemed to notice me. Everyone simply got up and headed to various destinations. I had two options: 1. Approach someone and ask them where I was suppose to go. 2. Leave the church and walk a few blocks over to Warehouse Row (a place with all sorts of clothing stores and cute little shops). I opted for Warehouse Row.

The church was located in downtown Chattanooga,TN. As all the kids headed to their Sunday school class I made my way outdoors to freedom - so I thought. It wasn't too many blocks into my walk before I noticed how empty the streets were. I was beginning to wonder if Warehouse Row would even be open at 8 am on a Sunday morning. I was way past being naive here... I was into stupidity. How I didn't know everything is closed on Sunday mornings in the heart of the Bible belt is beyond trying to defend, so I won't even try to.

Right about the time I began questioning the reasoning of my great plan two men spotted me walking down the street all alone in my church dress and mini pumps. It only took them half a second to decide to pursue me. It quickly turned into a race for my life, I knew that without doubt. There wasn't another soul on those streets - no person, no car, no office open - nothing. I crossed the street, so did they. I turned the corner, so did they. I was so far from the Lord that I didn't even ask Him for help. I didn't even think to cry out to Him. But God in His mercy sent what I didn't deserve: a policeman! Out of nowhere he came driving by and saw me being chased by those men. He pulled up, opened his car door and asked me to get in. When I got into his car he couldn't help but question me, "Where are you suppose to be right now?"
"At church" I mumbled in relief and embarrassment.
He drove me to the church and I got out of the police car. I went into the service, found my aunt and uncle and sat down. I didn't dare tell them what had happened. I would like to say I listened more intensely to the sermon and gave my life to Christ but I didn't. I didn't even think to tell the Lord thank you.

Do you know what? When I did become a Christian at age 18, I had a HUGE desire to go to church. I hadn't invested any money on church clothes so I had to search my closet for something to wear. I could only find one dress. Do you know what dress I found? The one I wore the day I skipped Sunday school when I was 16. The one I almost died in. The one I was wearing when God delivered me, even though my prayer life was so non-existent that I didn't even think to ask for help, nor bother to offer up a praise after He did. As I put the dress on the magnitude of what God had done for me became obvious. I felt such remorse that even after He saved me I didn't even pay attention to the sermon or bother to ever go back to church. I couldn't help but question Him as to why He even stooped so low to save me. He answered so clearly that it took me by surprise. He said, "On the day I saved you I saw you wearing this dress TODAY. You NOW see what you WERE but I always saw what you would be. I knew that this would be the dress you would wear to church today and I saved it for you. And I saved you for me ."

When I was asked to join a speaking team for the "Be Still, Get Real" conferences I was told I had to meet our sponsor. Do you know where I was told to go to? That church. Yes, God doesn't just see what we are. He sees what we will be.

"Deal bountifully with Your servant, that I may live and keep your Word. Open my eyes, that I may see wonderous things from Your law. I am a stranger in the earth; do not hide Your commandments from me." Psalm 119:17-19

The Plane's Going Down!

Way back in 1995, my friend and I decided to fly to Colorado together. She had just graduated from college and I was expecting my second baby. I was going for a big "break" before newborn number two came and she was going as a treat for finishing college. Problem was she had never flown on an plane before AND she is a little bit on the hypochondriac side. The flight out there wasn't too bad. I would even venture to say she did well. But, our flight back was postponed some hours because of a snow storm. We finally got boarded on the plane in the wee hours of the night. We were seated right next to a neurosurgeon. That made my friend feel a bit better to know a doctor was close by. She even asked if he would perform surgery on her in the event of a crash. Surgery wasn't what he thought she needed. He was thinking medication. Lots and lots of medication. When the plane took off we ran into some turbulence. Actually, a lot of turbulence. So much so that my friend phoned her parents to inform them the plane was going down. Back in 1995, that call cost her $35. She really thought and acted like the plane was going down. Everyone else on the plane was snoozing away. Everyone but the doctor. He was rewriting that prescription for something stronger. I made every effort to calm my friend. How about singing praise songs? She wouldn't go for it. Didn't amuse her at all. What fun is that? I decided I would talk to her about the Lord. I began to say things like if we did die we'd get to see Jesus face to face. I tried to get her excited about the glory of it all but she didn't get excited. She only got more frightened. I went on to inform her that God is so worthy of our trust that the plane could be a ball of fire crashing down to earth and we wouldn't have to worry. We didn't have to be afraid. Now I am a very animated person when I make a point and I don't even know how to whisper. It was about this time the doctor began writing another prescription. This one was for me. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out which one of us was more crazy!

A bunch of girls from church went out to dinner the night before last and my friend told everyone this story. I was laughing so hard. I had forgotten about it. I am older now and realize just how bizarre we must have seemed. Nowadays if I was in a plane going down I think I would be a wee bit worried. Excited to see Jesus but worried. So, doc, if you're reading this: the medicine worked.

Hope, Faith & Love

Hope. It is a very powerful thing. It is like holding the winning lottery ticket, you don't have the money yet but you have the joy of knowing you're the winner. And no, I don't play the lottery but it is a good example. The knowledge of being the winner is just as strong, if not stronger, than holding the cold, hard cash in your hands. That is the power of hope.

Well, we are winners. More than conquerors. We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. We have the winning lottery ticket in our hands and it pays for eternity. Hope is so empowering that God puts it right up there with faith and love. "And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13). Do you see it is because of hope that we are free to love? Because of hope we have something to give others. Our resources aren't dried up. The gate is wide open. The possibilities... endless. Hope opens the door to fruitfulness, purpose and passion. It simply states that we have a future and a hope. It is what eternity is all about and eternity has alrady begun. It started at the cross. And because of the hope set before Him, Christ endured the shame of the cross. Hope was enough to get Him through His toughest hour and it is enough to get us through, too.

Feeling blue? Discouraged? Useless? Alone? Then remember the power of hope and hope yourself towards victory. You have the winning ticket in your hand. Go collect your winnings!

Men's Room Moment

A few weeks ago I ran to Lifeway Christian Bookstore with my friend Angela, her six and four year olds girls and my three year old daughter. As soon as we got there I announced I had to use the restroom and all three children said they had to do the same. Of course. Since Angela had graciously gotten up at the crack of dawn to babysit my three year old, Lily, so I could go to court with an inmate from my Bible study, I knew I could at least take the crew to the restroom. This was my first time in this particular Lifeway store so I was a bit surprised to find a restroom that could only accomodate one. We all huddled into the tiny space and I helped the girls along. It was obvious things were going to take a REALLY long time so I decided while they were in the girls restroom I could go to the boys restroom next door. With only one person in at a time, a good lock and a very uncrowded day at Lifeway I thought there was nothing to worry about. Who would ever even know? I explained to the girls I would be in the other bathroom right next door. I pointed out the door and I hurried away.... As soon as I got myself situated I heard little voices in the hallway. Great! They left the restroom. They were looking for me so they went directly to the other door - only problem was it was the wrong door. It was the emergency exit door. Which also had an alarm. An alarm that goes off as soon as the door is opened and of course they opened it. The alarm was LOUD and blinked with a variety of lights that seemed to signal certain doom. The crying started. The girls, not mine. The employees ran to the back of the store to find a couple of very little girls all alone standing between the exit and the girls restroom. The girls restroom that had a door wide open with another little girl sitting on the commode crying her little eyes out. I was in the same position but thank goodness my door was securely locked. As much as I didn't want to emerge from the men's room I made my way out so they wouldn't think the children had been abandoned. I said a quick "hello" to the Lifeway staff and then an "I'm sorry". The alarm was too loud to explain the situation and that was sort of a relief. I calmed the girls. The crying stopped. Angela made her way back to us.... And then we laughed......and eventually the alarm was turned off...... and the best part is that Lifeway store isn't the one I normally go to. There is another one much closer to my house that's bigger AND the restroom has stalls! Stalls! A mother's dream. And they don't know about the little commotion we caused... And that's good because I love going to Lifeway.

Starbucks, Need I Say More?

I can't believe I haven't blogged about this sooner because this is huge news. I was picked as "customer of the week" at Starbucks! Yes, it is true. If you go into Starbucks on Gunbarrel you will see MY name on the board. Not only do they feature a customer of the week on a sign in their store they also give you free drinks all week long. I've got Starbucks coming out my pores at this point. This happened on Friday right after prison ministry. I think God was so full of pleasure from seeing His children walk in truth and unity that He couldn't help Himself. I had been eyeing the customer of the week sign for awhile so I guess He thought He would have some fun. When I was approached about it I about brought the roof down - and this was before I found out about the free drinks. I can go overboard at times. I was excited to say the least and I am sure everyone of you would be as well. Let's give Starbucks a hand for such a program. It rocks - I mean brews!

God Showed Up!

Well, God completely showed up during prison ministry on Friday. And He did it in the most unexpected way. I brought in a Mary, Mary CD which the girls love. I get there before 8 am so I play the Shakles song to get them awake. I then play the next song, "I Just Can't Give Up Now". Well, as that song was playing one of the guards came into our class and started singing her lungs out. She knew every word. This was the guard that the girls liked the least but as she was singing the words to this very powerful song her face told a story as she sung - her story. The expressions on her face said more then the words did. We had girls who never leave their bunks for Bible study make their way over to watch. Girl after girl began weeping and worshiping and weeping some more. What was happening just didn't make sense but then God wouldn't have been SO GOD if it did. He did it. Guards never join in on Bible study much less take center stage and start singing but God placed her in our midst and He told her story as she sung her song. And you know what? Her story was very similar to all the stories of every woman in that room.... And unity happened.

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing

Isn't it time to get real? Isn't it time to tire of all the games we play in an attempt to impress others? And why do we do this? Is there any power in it? Whatever power or influence we do muster up is only a mirage that vanishes like vapor on a hot day. There are no lasting effects. No eternal fruit. The only thing our efforts provide is the pressure to do it again but next time even better, or bigger or smoother.

We dress to impress and we don't even realize that spiritually we're running around naked. We labor and strive to have so much but we don't realize that we're accumulating nothing. It is like Christ said in Revelations 3:17 (NIV), "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and I don't need a thing'. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." How is it we can settle for so little and not even realize we're taking a loss? I think it is because God's standard drastically differs from the world's. What the world defines as life doesn't hold a match to the One who is Life. We've settled for acting like we have a life as opposed to really living one.

Have you ever had one of those bad dreams where you are in such a hurry to get out the door to get somewhere that you don't even realize until it is too late that you forgot to put your clothes on? You appear in the buff before a roomful of watching eyes and when you awake you thank God a thousand times that it was only a dream. Or was it? Don't we do this very thing to ourselves spiritually before a watching world. We get so busy playing games that we forget how to be real. In our aim for perfection we don't realize that a little bit of good that is authentic is better than a whole bunch of great that is nothing but fake.

This is why God beckons us to have pure hearts. Pure hearts aren't perfect hearts. They are hearts that are honest. Honest with themselves, with God and with others. Pure hearts are ripe for an encounter with God, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matthew 5:8 NIV)

As a Bible teacher in prison ministry the Lord has dealt with me on this area of purity. It can be tempting to go into class as a Bible teacher and try to project the exact image I think a Bible teacher would envelop. God is quick to call me on that type of hypocrisy. At moments when I think it would serve me better to play the image game He is quick to question me, "Do you want to look good or do you want to see my goodness?" In utter amazement I have discovered that God delights in pouring out His power on the ordinary, the weak and the ones who feel pathetically under qualified.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV)

We can spend so much time fighting to look like we belong on top. We want to be best. We want to be first. These are motives that God will never bless. God says in Luke 13:30 that the last shall be first and the first shall be last.

I remember attending a women's conference at Precept Ministries with Kay Arthur. There were about three hundred ladies and she allowed us to have a "slumber party" in her recording studio. We wore our pajamas and everyone brought food for a midnight snack. Eating in the studio was something Kay didn't normally allow so this was a very special treat. Since the equipment in the room was very expensive and the carpet was brand new she emphatically warned us to exercise extreme caution while eating. After she warned everyone she repeated the whole warning again. Let me say we got the point. Spilling something was the last thing anyone in that room planned to do.

I hadn't had a chance to eat dinner so I was starving. The only thing I was thinking of was how I could avoid getting stuck in a long line. I needed to act quickly before the line formed. I decided that as Kay Arthur led us in prayer to bless the food that I could casually make my way towards the snack table to secure my position at the FRONT. It worked. I was actually the first person in line but I carried myself like it was a complete coincidence.

Do you know that as soon as I finished piling my plate with mounds of food I managed to trip and spill it all over Kay Arthur's new carpet. This was done directly in front of all three hundred women and Kay Arthur herself! You could hear everyone gasp for breath. People probably thought most of the salsa landed on my face because it was that red. After I got the mess all cleaned up I realized that if I wanted to eat that I would have to go to the END of the line. God wasn't kidding when He said the first shall be last. As I took my position at the end of the line, pondering this very verse, I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Lord, you don't let me get away with anything!"

So often we put pressure on ourselves to get ahead or to be something we're not because we're petrified of weakness. Yes, we can be frighteningly weak on occasions but that's okay. God is bigger than our weaknesses. His strength is actually perfected in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). We spend ourselves searching for power not realizing that true power only comes when we are willing to humble ourselves before our Maker. God will lift us up. He is the Lifter of our Heads. But He calls us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand so that He can lift us up in due season (1 Peter 5:6).

Isn't it tiring trying to lift up ourselves all the time? Let's give ourselves a break and allow God to do the lifting. He'll be sure to only lift up the real thing.

"Be Still"

I lift up my soul

To the One who sees

He is the One

Who knows the real me

He knows my innermost thoughts

The troubles on my mind

He knows the peace

I am so desperate to find.

He knows how busyness

And smiles cover up the pain

But it is still there

Just the same

So the mask comes off

And falls to the ground

Playing these games

Isn't how true peace is found.

He wants me to be someone

Who is real

He wants to teach me

How to be still.

-Kara Akins