Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing

Isn't it time to get real? Isn't it time to tire of all the games we play in an attempt to impress others? And why do we do this? Is there any power in it? Whatever power or influence we do muster up is only a mirage that vanishes like vapor on a hot day. There are no lasting effects. No eternal fruit. The only thing our efforts provide is the pressure to do it again but next time even better, or bigger or smoother.

We dress to impress and we don't even realize that spiritually we're running around naked. We labor and strive to have so much but we don't realize that we're accumulating nothing. It is like Christ said in Revelations 3:17 (NIV), "You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and I don't need a thing'. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." How is it we can settle for so little and not even realize we're taking a loss? I think it is because God's standard drastically differs from the world's. What the world defines as life doesn't hold a match to the One who is Life. We've settled for acting like we have a life as opposed to really living one.

Have you ever had one of those bad dreams where you are in such a hurry to get out the door to get somewhere that you don't even realize until it is too late that you forgot to put your clothes on? You appear in the buff before a roomful of watching eyes and when you awake you thank God a thousand times that it was only a dream. Or was it? Don't we do this very thing to ourselves spiritually before a watching world. We get so busy playing games that we forget how to be real. In our aim for perfection we don't realize that a little bit of good that is authentic is better than a whole bunch of great that is nothing but fake.

This is why God beckons us to have pure hearts. Pure hearts aren't perfect hearts. They are hearts that are honest. Honest with themselves, with God and with others. Pure hearts are ripe for an encounter with God, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." (Matthew 5:8 NIV)

As a Bible teacher in prison ministry the Lord has dealt with me on this area of purity. It can be tempting to go into class as a Bible teacher and try to project the exact image I think a Bible teacher would envelop. God is quick to call me on that type of hypocrisy. At moments when I think it would serve me better to play the image game He is quick to question me, "Do you want to look good or do you want to see my goodness?" In utter amazement I have discovered that God delights in pouring out His power on the ordinary, the weak and the ones who feel pathetically under qualified.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." (2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV)

We can spend so much time fighting to look like we belong on top. We want to be best. We want to be first. These are motives that God will never bless. God says in Luke 13:30 that the last shall be first and the first shall be last.

I remember attending a women's conference at Precept Ministries with Kay Arthur. There were about three hundred ladies and she allowed us to have a "slumber party" in her recording studio. We wore our pajamas and everyone brought food for a midnight snack. Eating in the studio was something Kay didn't normally allow so this was a very special treat. Since the equipment in the room was very expensive and the carpet was brand new she emphatically warned us to exercise extreme caution while eating. After she warned everyone she repeated the whole warning again. Let me say we got the point. Spilling something was the last thing anyone in that room planned to do.

I hadn't had a chance to eat dinner so I was starving. The only thing I was thinking of was how I could avoid getting stuck in a long line. I needed to act quickly before the line formed. I decided that as Kay Arthur led us in prayer to bless the food that I could casually make my way towards the snack table to secure my position at the FRONT. It worked. I was actually the first person in line but I carried myself like it was a complete coincidence.

Do you know that as soon as I finished piling my plate with mounds of food I managed to trip and spill it all over Kay Arthur's new carpet. This was done directly in front of all three hundred women and Kay Arthur herself! You could hear everyone gasp for breath. People probably thought most of the salsa landed on my face because it was that red. After I got the mess all cleaned up I realized that if I wanted to eat that I would have to go to the END of the line. God wasn't kidding when He said the first shall be last. As I took my position at the end of the line, pondering this very verse, I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "Lord, you don't let me get away with anything!"

So often we put pressure on ourselves to get ahead or to be something we're not because we're petrified of weakness. Yes, we can be frighteningly weak on occasions but that's okay. God is bigger than our weaknesses. His strength is actually perfected in them (2 Corinthians 12:9). We spend ourselves searching for power not realizing that true power only comes when we are willing to humble ourselves before our Maker. God will lift us up. He is the Lifter of our Heads. But He calls us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand so that He can lift us up in due season (1 Peter 5:6).

Isn't it tiring trying to lift up ourselves all the time? Let's give ourselves a break and allow God to do the lifting. He'll be sure to only lift up the real thing.

"Be Still"

I lift up my soul

To the One who sees

He is the One

Who knows the real me

He knows my innermost thoughts

The troubles on my mind

He knows the peace

I am so desperate to find.

He knows how busyness

And smiles cover up the pain

But it is still there

Just the same

So the mask comes off

And falls to the ground

Playing these games

Isn't how true peace is found.

He wants me to be someone

Who is real

He wants to teach me

How to be still.

-Kara Akins

I've Tried Everything!

I just made my sister laugh. We were talking on the phone and she was relating to me the complete fatigue she feels towards dealing with her teenager. She feels she has tried everything but the teen simply isn't responding. She is discouraged and she wants to quit because she doesn't see any results - even after putting in SUCH EFFORTS! I told her (and this is what made her laugh) "You've tried everything. Why not try something that works?" Sounds funny when everything you have tried seems to have failed. Is there anything else to try? She didn't feel there was. But is there? Of course there is. As parents we can come in at a different angle. We can try a variety of angles - it's our God given parental right. We can think and rethink and find the most effective way to reach our kids. We don't have to quit. We can keep trying and we can have fun trying. We're creative. We're motivated. We have every reason to pour our creative resources into our children. We know how to be fun. We know how to build relationships. We're good at it in our social circles. Now let's put our hands, heads and hearts towards our children. What do they want in a mom? What do they need? What inspires them? What reaches them or touches their heart?

Bottom line is when we have teens what we really want is a good relationship with them. We want them to like us. We want them to value us. We want their response to migrate away from robotic obedience to relational obedience - doing things because they are responding to a person and not simply just a rule. We want them to feel that having and maintaining the respect of their parents is of high priority. Our kids need us and we want them to be aware of that need by fostering a relationship that meets tangible needs in THEIR life. They also need to get to know the real us (parents).

Sometimes problems and circumstances that highlight negative attitudes (in both parties) creates an environment of tension and all the joy of relationship is choked out. We seem to somehow slip into a repetitive pattern of relational destruction. Why not create environments that are conducive to relationship growth? Is it possible? Of course. We know under what circumstances our children tend to be more pliable and relational. We also know what circumstances cause them to tighten up more than a clam trying to escape prying fingers. If we can take advantage of moments that actually provide opportunity for us to invest in what is ultimately the foundations of our children's character, then we'll be more productive as parents and they'll be more readily equipped to handle themselves in trying circumstances. We can't build in the middle of a storm. We need to build in good weather so when the storm comes we're prepared for it. So often we try to build in pouring rain (hail, lightning and thunder at that!) and we feel like we're getting nowhere (because we're not). Not only do we feel like we're getting nowhere, we feel like things are getting ruined (because they are).

If what we are doing doesn't work, we shouldn't be afraid to find something that does. If there is an answer to our problem wouldn't it be wise to find it? "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. For anyone who asks receives and anyone who seeks finds and anyone who knocks the door will be opened unto them."